Simon Lloyd

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  • Gareth Southgate vows to “keep memes going” by talking about Mason Mount

    Gareth Southgate vows to “keep memes going” by talking about Mason Mount

    Nothing feels real any more Perhaps it’s passed you by, but there’s a certain segment of England fans – mainly Aston Villa supporters, it seems – who have accused Gareth Southgate of having an agenda against Jack Grealish in recent weeks. Despite Grealish’s impressive club form, the midfielder had to be patient in waiting for […]

    5 years ago

  • Mauricio Pochettino reportedly offered chance to return to management

    Mauricio Pochettino reportedly offered chance to return to management

    Breathe easy, Ole Mauricio Pochettino could be about to end his 12-month stay in the managerial wilderness… and no, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is not in any immediate danger of being given the boot. Speculation linking the Argentine with Manchester United has never been too far away since he left Tottenham last year, spiking again recently […]

    5 years ago

  • Barcelona ‘to sue Neymar for £9m’ after mistakenly overpaying him

    Barcelona ‘to sue Neymar for £9m’ after mistakenly overpaying him

    Just one regular day of Barclayselona. That’s all I ask Futbol Club Barcelona, we regret to inform you, are at it again (reportedly, of course). With Josep Bartomeu gone and talk of Lionel Messi wanting out dying down a little bit, some of us might have expected the club to take on a slightly less […]

    5 years ago

  • Of course Cristiano Ronaldo is being linked with a Man Utd return

    Of course Cristiano Ronaldo is being linked with a Man Utd return

    *Sighs* We had a good run, didn’t we? For almost two whole years, speculation linking Cristiano Ronaldo with a return to Manchester United has been virtually nonexistent. Alas, talk of him potentially leaving Juventus in the near future has awoken the beast. Having departed Old Trafford for Real Madrid in 2009, rumours that Ronaldo might […]

    5 years ago

  • This international break is the last thing football needs right now

    This international break is the last thing football needs right now

    With Covid cases soaring, another international break could present football with an avoidable problem Little over a month ago, as England’s football authorities busily continued to stuff as many fixtures as they possibly could into a short space of time, it started to seem – if only for a brief while – like the penny […]

    5 years ago

  • QUIZ: Name these 50 Premier League players from the 2000s – #1

    QUIZ: Name these 50 Premier League players from the 2000s – #1

    Quiz time Ah, the noughties. Simpler times. When global pandemics weren’t really a thing. When the Premier League was still very much full Barclays. For our latest quiz, we revisit the Greatest League In The World™ at that time. We give you the faces of 50 footballers who all played in the Premier League at some […]

    5 years ago

  • 17-year-old Jude Bellingham called up to England squad for first time

    17-year-old Jude Bellingham called up to England squad for first time

    Another milestone for the teenager Borussia Dortmund midfielder Jude Bellingham has received his first call-up to the England senior team. Bellingham had originally been named in the England Under-21s squad but has now been promoted to Gareth Southgate’s team ahead of games against the Republic of Ireland, Belgium and Iceland following the withdrawal of James […]

    5 years ago

  • David Alaba could be set for free transfer to the Premier League after all

    David Alaba could be set for free transfer to the Premier League after all

    No prizes for guessing which two clubs he’s most likely to join It’s the middle of November. Far, far too early to be getting excited about the summer transfer window. And yet, thanks to David Alaba, here we are, already wondering where he might end up plying his trade next season. The Austrian has been […]

    5 years ago

  • FootballJOE’s Badge Quiz – #8

    FootballJOE’s Badge Quiz – #8

    We’re on the home straight All good things come to an end. And whether you regard the FootballJOE Badge Quiz as a good thing or not, after this, the eighth edition, there’s probably only going to be a couple more of these things before we knock it on the head for a bit. I mean, […]

    5 years ago

  • Roy Keane brands Kyle Walker “an idiot” after giving away penalty

    Roy Keane brands Kyle Walker “an idiot” after giving away penalty

    Tell us what you really think, Roy Roy Keane delivered a typically blunt assessment when asked how Sadio Mane earned Liverpool a penalty in their Premier League clash with Manchester City on Sunday. With the scores goalless at the time, Mane had been taken down by Kyle Walker with little over ten minutes played at The […]

    5 years ago

  • Furious Scott Parker reacts to Ademola Lookman’s failed Panenka

    Furious Scott Parker reacts to Ademola Lookman’s failed Panenka

    “You can’t miss a penalty like that. You just can’t.” A Panenka, as we’ve always said, is comfortably the coolest way to convert a penalty. When they work, they look great and having the audacity to even try one takes real balls. The downside to this, though, is that when they don’t come off, the […]

    5 years ago

  • WATCH: Wayne Rooney’s brother scores from inside his own half

    WATCH: Wayne Rooney’s brother scores from inside his own half

    Anything Wayne can do… It can’t have been easy for John Rooney, can it? While big brother Wayne was winning Premier Leagues and Champions Leagues or becoming England’s all-time leading goalscorer, John’s football career has never quite hit the same dizzying heights – permanently in the shadows of his famous older sibling. Even when he […]

    5 years ago

  • Marcus Rashford campaign forces PM into another free school meals U-Turn

    Marcus Rashford campaign forces PM into another free school meals U-Turn

    “The steps made today will improve the lives of near 1.7 million children in the UK over the next 12 months” Marcus Rashford has spoken of his pride after his campaign to fight child food poverty saw ministers pledge £170m as part of a new winter grant scheme to help families struggling through the pandemic. […]

    5 years ago

  • Alex Morgan threatens to unfollow her mum on Twitter over Trump support

    Alex Morgan threatens to unfollow her mum on Twitter over Trump support

    And still, the wait goes on… With the race for the U.S presidency on a knife-edge and vote-counting continuing to determine if Joe Biden has done enough to replace Donald Trump in the White House, something a little different: Alex Morgan threatening to unfollow her mum on Twitter. Yes, very important stuff, we know. The World […]

    5 years ago

  • QUIZ: Name all 50 of these 2000s Champions League players – #2

    QUIZ: Name all 50 of these 2000s Champions League players – #2

    We go again Yet again, the time has come to test your knowledge of Champions League players of yesteryear. Those of you who attempted the first edition of this quiz – which you can find by clicking here – will know exactly how this works. The rest of you should be able to fathom it […]

    5 years ago

  • Lionel Messi told “you know where the door is” after questioning manager

    Lionel Messi told “you know where the door is” after questioning manager

    As much as a manager can’t be disrespected by his players, this is actually hilarious It has, as we’re all more than well aware by now, been a bumpy few months for Lionel Messi at Barcelona. After coming mightily close to leaving the Camp Nou in the summer, the Argentine has since won his power […]

    5 years ago

  • Jurgen Klopp dismisses Roberto Firmino talk after Diogo Jota hat-trick heroics

    Jurgen Klopp dismisses Roberto Firmino talk after Diogo Jota hat-trick heroics

    *Ron Manager voice*: It’s a nice headache to have, isn’t it? From the second Diogo Jota bagged his first goal on Tuesday night, you just knew that, at some point before he left the stadium, Jurgen Klopp would have to bat away at least one question about having a ‘selection headache’. Having replaced Roberto Firmino, […]

    5 years ago

  • Diego Maradona undergoes “successful” brain blood clot surgery

    Diego Maradona undergoes “successful” brain blood clot surgery

    He was admitted to hospital earlier in the week Diego Maradona has undergone successful surgery on a blood clot on his brain, his doctor has confirmed. The Argentine football icon was admitted to hospital in Buenos Aires on Monday, suffering from dehydration and anaemia. It later emerged that doctors had discovered a subdural hematoma, requiring […]

    5 years ago

  • Man City could offer Lionel Messi pre-contact before he enters Barca contract talks

    Man City could offer Lionel Messi pre-contact before he enters Barca contract talks

    Manchester City are still alive here… Remember those blissful two or three weeks in the summer when, thanks to Lionel Messi, the world *very nearly* forgot that it was collapsing in on itself? After featuring in Barcelona’s cataclysmic Champions League showing against Bayern Munich, Messi had made it abundantly clear that he wanted out of […]

    5 years ago

  • Paul Pogba ‘hasn’t worked hard enough,’ says former Man Utd coach

    Paul Pogba ‘hasn’t worked hard enough,’ says former Man Utd coach

    “I don’t think he lives up to the expectations” Former Manchester United coach Rene Meulensteen believes Paul Pogba needs to work harder if he is to be considered one of the best players in the world. Despite his undoubted quality, Pogba has struggled for consistency since returning to Old Trafford from Juventus four years ago, […]

    5 years ago

  • Mesut Ozil joins venture capital fund as strategic adviser

    Mesut Ozil joins venture capital fund as strategic adviser

    ‘I am excited to shape and work on my post-football career while I am still actively playing football’ With plenty of time on his hands these days, Mesut Ozil has embarked on a new career by joining American venture capital fund Class 5 Global. Despite earning a wage of around £350,000 a week at Arsenal, […]

    5 years ago

  • Brighton axed Neal Maupay over ‘inflated ego’

    Brighton axed Neal Maupay over ‘inflated ego’

    Maupay didn’t travel with his teammates ahead of Sunday’s game Neal Maupay was dropped from Brighton’s Sunday evening fixture with Tottenham due to his ‘inflated ego’, a report has claimed. The Frenchman, the Seagulls’ top scorer this season, didn’t travel to London with his teammates for the Premier League clash, with manager Graham Potter naming […]

    5 years ago

  • Mauricio Pochettino insists he’s ready to return to football management

    Mauricio Pochettino insists he’s ready to return to football management

    Pochettino could be back soon after a year out of the game Mauricio Pochettino has made it perfectly clear he is ready to make a return to football management. Nearly a year has passed since the Argentine was dismissed by Tottenham Hotspur. In that time he has regularly been linked with with a return, with […]

    5 years ago

  • Russia in line to host all of Euro 2021, with England to miss out

    Russia in line to host all of Euro 2021, with England to miss out

    Football might not be coming home Uefa could abandon their plans to play next summer’s European Championships in multiple countries due to the coronavirus pandemic, with Russia reportedly likely to stage all games. The tournament, which was originally scheduled to take place last summer, was set to be the first to take on a new […]

    5 years ago

  • Pep Guardiola suggests Premier League should be halted

    Pep Guardiola suggests Premier League should be halted

    The City boss believes football “cannot be the exception” Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola has suggested the Premier League schedule should be paused as England prepares for a month-long lockdown. At the weekend Boris Johnson outlined details of new measures which come into force this week, but Premier League fixtures will continue to be played […]

    5 years ago

  • FootballJOE’s Badge Quiz – #7

    FootballJOE’s Badge Quiz – #7

    Week 7 Another week, another FootballJOE Badge Quiz. We warned you a couple of weeks ago that these would only be getting tougher, and we’re reasonably confident this is the hardest of the lot so far. If you’ve somehow managed to avoid all six earlier editions of this quiz (and the international break special), they […]

    5 years ago

  • Manchester City clinch transfer of Filip Stevanovic

    Manchester City clinch transfer of Filip Stevanovic

    City have their first January signing in place One transfer window may only just have closed, but Manchester City have wasted little time in finalising their first bit of business for January. Highly rated Serbian winger Filip Stevanovic is Etihad-bound in the new year after a tweet from his current club Partizan Belgrade confirmed a […]

    5 years ago

  • QUIZ: Can you identify which European club plays where?

    QUIZ: Can you identify which European club plays where?

    Football and geography, joining forces once more for another quiz A club that tests your knowledge of geography and football club badges. What more could you possibly want to waste away a bit of your week? 15 pictures, all showing part of a European map with a small red dot on each one. All you […]

    5 years ago

  • Nahki Wells’ attempted Panenka against Tim Krul goes horribly wrong

    Nahki Wells’ attempted Panenka against Tim Krul goes horribly wrong

    When Panenkas go wrong… There’s no doubt about it, when they come off, Panenkas look great – by far the coolest way of dispatching a penalty. Every now and then, though, we’re reminded of how the taker looks anything but cool when a Panenka doesn’t quite go as planned. Step forward Nahki Wells, who was presented […]

    5 years ago

  • Premier League ‘to continue’ despite reports of Lockdown 2

    Premier League ‘to continue’ despite reports of Lockdown 2

    Reports of a second national lockdown broke on Friday The Premier League is reportedly not expected to shut down in the imminent future, despite reports claiming a second national lockdown could be enforced in a matter of days. Claims in the media on Friday night suggested the prime minister is giving strong consideration to bringing […]

    5 years ago

  • Nobby Stiles: Tributes pour in as Man Utd and England great dies, aged 78

    Nobby Stiles: Tributes pour in as Man Utd and England great dies, aged 78

    The World Cup-winner has passed away aged 78 Tributes have been made from the football world and beyond following the death of Nobby Stiles, aged 78. Born in Collyhurst, Manchester, in 1942, Stiles was a member of Manchester United’s first European Cup triumph at Wembley in 1968. He is fondly remembered for playing his part […]

    5 years ago

  • Mick McCarthy set to be named manager of… erm, APOEL Nicosia

    Mick McCarthy set to be named manager of… erm, APOEL Nicosia

    Wait, what? Nope. Didn’t see this one coming. In fairness, we doubt even the man himself saw this one coming. Mick McCarthy does, however, look set to make a return to the world of football management, with… wait for it… APOEL Nicosia. McCarthy stepped down from his role as Republic of Ireland manager in April […]

    5 years ago

  • Liverpool goalkeeper Alisson criticises Jordan Pickford for Van Dijk challenge

    Liverpool goalkeeper Alisson criticises Jordan Pickford for Van Dijk challenge

    The fallout continues Liverpool goalkeeper Alisson has labelled Jordan Pickford’s challenge on Virgil van Dijk “unnecessary”, as the fallout from the Dutchman’s long-term knee injury continues. Everton’s goalkeeper clattered into the Dutch defender during the early moments of the Merseyside Derby earlier this month, causing a grade three tear to his anterior cruciate which could […]

    5 years ago

  • Sergio Romero faces more uncertainty over his future as MLS move collapses

    Sergio Romero faces more uncertainty over his future as MLS move collapses

    Things go from bad to worse for the United back-up keeper Sergio Romero’s hopes of leaving Manchester United have been dealt a further blow after the back-up goalkeeper’s hopes of sealing a move to Major League Soccer have been dashed. After patiently playing the role of David De Gea’s understudy for five years, Romero had […]

    5 years ago

  • Cast Adrift: How football is failing released academy players

    Cast Adrift: How football is failing released academy players

    “Two phone calls in seven months. That’s what my son meant to a Premier League club…” Danny didn’t wait around. Within days of being told he would be released at the end of his contract, he left, stuffing his belongings into the back of his car one lunchtime and driving the 200-mile journey home. “It […]

    5 years ago

  • FootballJOE’s Badge Quiz – #6

    FootballJOE’s Badge Quiz – #6

    The weeks are flying by Here we are then: Week six of the FootballJOE Badge Quiz. As per usual, we’ve given you 15 football club badges from across the globe – some a lot more recognisable than others – and taken away any letters or numbers from each one of them using our highly sophisticated […]

    5 years ago

  • Mauricio Pochettino one of two candidates to replace Pep Guardiola at Man City

    Mauricio Pochettino one of two candidates to replace Pep Guardiola at Man City

    Pochettino is now linked with the other job in Manchester How long Pep Guardiola remains in charge at Manchester City is still a little unclear. Although the club’s most decorated manager has spoken of his willingness to extend his contract beyond next summer, so far, there has been little indication that a new deal is […]

    5 years ago

  • Man City pay tribute after the death of former youth player Jeremy Wisten

    Man City pay tribute after the death of former youth player Jeremy Wisten

    The tragic news of the teenager’s death was announced on Sunday Manchester City have responded to the tragic death of their former youth player, Jeremy Wisten. The 17-year-old defender had moved to the UK from Malawi with his family when he was a baby, joining City’s elite development squad in 2016. He had recently left […]

    5 years ago

  • Ajax edge past VVV-Venlo with a 13-0 win

    Ajax edge past VVV-Venlo with a 13-0 win

    <Insert Simpsons already dead meme here> Spare a thought for poor, poor Delano van Crooij. You’ve probably never heard of the guy before, but Van Crooij set a bit of Eredivisie history on Saturday by conceding more goals in a single game than any other goalkeeper to have ever played in the Dutch top flight. [&hellip;]

    5 years ago

  • Tim Sherwood urges Mason Greenwood to “focus on his football”, for some reason

    Tim Sherwood urges Mason Greenwood to “focus on his football”, for some reason

    Despite Solskjaer denying stories about Greenwood’s professionalism, Sherwood believes the youngster needs to focus Tim Sherwood has said Manchester United’s Mason Greenwood needs to focus on his football, despite Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s insistence that there is no problem with his professionalism. Greenwood has missed United’s last two games against Newcastle United and Paris Saint-Germain through [&hellip;]

    5 years ago

  • Joe Cole calls government a “disgrace” for not backing Marcus Rashford

    Joe Cole calls government a “disgrace” for not backing Marcus Rashford

    Cole was full of praise for Rashford Joe Cole has described the government’s failure to back Marcus Rashford’s pleas to extend the free school initiative through holidays a “disgrace”. The former England midfielder was appearing as a pundit on BT Sport for the weekend’s early kick-off between West Ham and Manchester City when asked about [&hellip;]

    5 years ago

  • Leeds United squad pledge £25k to help hungry children

    Leeds United squad pledge £25k to help hungry children

    ‘We stand with you MarcusRashford.’ Leeds United players have pledged £25,000 to support hungry children, with captain Liam Cooper vowing they will stand with Marcus Rashford in his attempts to help vulnerable children living in poverty. The Manchester United forward had expressed his disappointment on Wednesday night after MPs voted against Labour’s bid to extend [&hellip;]

    5 years ago

  • Marcus Rashford “proud” at community response to free school meals campaign

    Marcus Rashford “proud” at community response to free school meals campaign

    “I couldn’t be more proud to call myself British” Marcus Rashford has spoken of his pride at the community response to his campaign to extend free school meal provisions throughout school holidays. The Manchester United forward had expressed his disappointment on Wednesday night after MPs voted against Labour’s bid to extend the initiative beyond term [&hellip;]

    5 years ago

  • The hardest Lionel Messi quiz you will ever take

    The hardest Lionel Messi quiz you will ever take

    The ultimate test for any Lionel Messi fan Call yourself a Lionel Messi fan, do you? Yes? Good, you’re in just the right place. No? Well, seeing as you’re already here reading this, you might as well stick around for a few minutes anyway. Since exploding into Barcelona’s first team all those years ago, Messi [&hellip;]

    5 years ago

  • Porto boss tears into “extremely unpleasant” Pep Guardiola after Man City defeat

    Porto boss tears into “extremely unpleasant” Pep Guardiola after Man City defeat

    “He spoke about our country using ugly words” Porto manager Sergio Conceicao has torn into Pep Guardiola following his side’s feisty Champions League encounter with Manchester City, accusing him of attempting to pressurise match officials. The Portuguese champions took an early lead at The Etihad on Wednesday courtesy of a brilliant individual effort from Luis [&hellip;]

    5 years ago

  • Everton’s James Rodriguez injured by Virgil van Dijk

    Everton’s James Rodriguez injured by Virgil van Dijk

    James is a doubt for table-topping Everton Everton are likely to be without James Rodriguez for their visit to Southampton this weekend – after the Colombian was injured by Virgil van Dijk. The Liverpool defender was clattered by Jordan Pickford in the early stages of the Merseyside Derby last weekend, suffering a grade three tear [&hellip;]

    5 years ago

  • QUIZ: Locate the European football clubs and stadiums on the map

    QUIZ: Locate the European football clubs and stadiums on the map

    Quiz time Like geography quizzes? Like football quizzes? Good. You’re in just the right place. For the first time in JOE’s extensive history of quizzing, we’ve combined the two, testing your knowledge of European football and geography by asking you to locate some of the continent’s best-known clubs and stadiums on a map. 15 questions. Go.

    5 years ago

  • Marcus Thuram Googles himself to pass stadium ID check

    Marcus Thuram Googles himself to pass stadium ID check

    Being a famous footballer certainly has its perks at times At some point in our lives, most of us have probably experienced being turned away from somewhere for not being able to provide the correct identification on the door. With that in mind, most of us will have been able to relate to Borussia Monchengladbach’s [&hellip;]

    5 years ago

  • Florian Neuhaus produces the most satisfying assist you’ll see all season

    Florian Neuhaus produces the most satisfying assist you’ll see all season

    Can you marry an assist? For a minute or two, Borussia Mönchengladbach looked to have taken all three points against Inter Milan in the San Siro on Wednesday night. Despite falling behind to a Romelu Lukaku opener early in the second half, Gladbach struck back from a Ramy Bensebaini penalty. Then, with little over six [&hellip;]

    5 years ago