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Published 11:52 19 Apr 2015 BST
Updated 11:55 19 Apr 2015 BST

"I have lost my baby but I shall create another," Clarkson told the Sunday Times.
"I don't know who the other parent will be or what the baby will look like, but I cannot sit around any more organising my photograph album."
Whatever he gives man-birth to, we hope it has lots of fast cars, wacky features and near-the-knuckle Clarkson bluster.
And if he asks for a hot meal, please just indulge him...
(H/T Sunday Times)Explore more on these topics: