Oh, this? It’s only a dog making a casual goal-line clearance

Yes, you’re right, we *are* biased against your team

Harry Kane injury creates a fantasy football nightmare. Oh, and it’s not great for Spurs either

Manchester City must be hoping their new third kit will make them even more like Barcelona

Patrick van Aanholt missed Spurs defeat due to heart concerns

Ron Atkinson attempts to explain infamous TV racial slur

Sage Northcutt is relentlessly positive about CM Punk despite UFC debut setback

Rio Ferdinand puts out heartfelt appeal to save playground where he ‘learnt how to win and lose’

Sage Northcutt confident of beating Mickey Gall at 170lb before the end of the year

Football Manager hero Javier Saviola has moved to a tiny Andorran club

This fan-made Conor McGregor v Eddie Alvarez trailer will take some beating

We spoke to the guy who won more than £1000 predicting Lukaku and Agüero’s hat-tricks

PES have cheered up Michy Batshuayi after his FIFA 17 passing drama

Watch Championship Manager legend Cherno Samba read out mean tweets

The JOE Friday football quiz: Name the starting XI from Gary Neville’s Manchester United debut

Crystal Palace confirm Pape Souaré will be out until the New Year after horror crash

Manchester United’s Memphis Depay is one of the best free-kick takers on FIFA 17

José Mourinho’s face is a picture after Feyenoord fans sing You’ll Never Walk Alone

Name all the Premier League and Championship clubs to play in Europe since 1992/93

PSG’s new third kit is a bit of all white

Feyenoord have gone too far with this half-and-half Manchester United sweater

Punter turns £5 into over £1,000 with ridiculous back-to-back hat-trick bets

Only ONE Man United first teamer is ranked lower than Marcus Rashford in FIFA 17

Ian Wright reflects on how smoking weed almost cost him his football career

Mansfield Town’s clairvoyant announcement is pure lower-league gold

L’Equipe absolutely pan Shkodran Mustafi in brutal Arsenal player ratings

David Gold compares West Ham’s stadium dilemma to the moon landings, because why not

People finally have their hands on the FIFA 17 demo and they’re fucking loving it

Premier League’s time-travel experiment is full of glitches

Kell Brook’s trainer alludes to Nick Blackwell fight in attacking “ignorant” Chris Eubank Jr

Only a European football expert could get full marks on this Champions League quiz

This blind player’s wonder goal at the Paralympics would make Roberto Baggio proud

Non-league footballer dies after collapsing in cup game

Dimitri Payet produced a rabona assist because he’s just showing off at this stage

Everyone’s making the same joke about Wayne Rooney’s foul on Claudio Bravo

People have criticised Gary Neville for a bizarre piece of Manchester Derby commentary

British man breaks record for longest game of Football Manager

Celtic fans mock ‘new’ Rangers with chant as players get off team bus

Manchester Derby line-ups: Mkhitaryan starts but there’s no Rashford

Gary Neville goes all Columbo with just one more thing before the Manchester Derby

Vernon Kay gets tricked by fake Scholes quote…but sees the funny side

Cowboy Cerrone offers to fight at UFC 203 at less than 24 hours’ notice

Here’s how Liverpool’s increased Anfield capacity compares to other European giants

Chelsea youngster redefines the concept of being out on loan

Adebayo Akinfenwa keeps his ‘strongest’ title for FIFA 17 – but is fuming about another detail

Here’s why Eden Hazard won the Player of the Month poll but Raheem Sterling won the award

Tributes pour in for Brotherhood actor Aaron Eaton after his sudden death

Watch Alex Iwobi crack up as he gives Arsenal team-mates a crash-course in London slang

Serena Williams is the best ever, and we need to cherish her while she’s still around

40 thoughts I had watching *that* Rafa Nadal US Open point 1,000 times