Major said Brexiteers have “persuaded a deceived population to vote to be weaker and poorer” Former Conservative Prime Minister John Major branded Brexit “a colossal misjudgement” during a speech on Tuesday evening, before going on to state that Brexiteers “will never be forgotten – or forgiven”. Major, who held office between 1990 and 1997, delivered […]

8 years ago

Canada has followed in Uruguay’s footsteps by legalising recreational marijuana Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has achieved one of his promises from the 2015 election campaign, with the leader of the governing Liberal Party legalising cannabis for the very first time in Canada. Cannabis possession became a crime in 1923, but Trudeau argued that the almost […]

8 years ago

Donald Trump is at it yet again The world’s most delusional man has pretty much topped all his other self-aggrandizing feats with this: a painting of Trump sat down with former Republican presidents of years gone by, just enjoying a drink and a chinwag. And this isn’t something he has quietly hung up in his […]

8 years ago

60 hours amounts to 3600 minutes or 216,000 seconds That is a long time. That is a very long time. Are you willing to sacrifice 3600 minutes of your precious, finite existence on this – very real – planet to romp around an admittedly gorgeous virtual landscape pretending you’re a cowboy and shooting people in […]

8 years ago

Erm, Deontay… I don’t think you were supposed to try and kill him Deontay Wilder, the current WBC Heavyweight champion boasting an utterly ridiculous undefeated record of 40 wins and 39 by knockout, absolutely fucking leathered a man in a mascot suit live on television. No, really. He… I have to choose my words delicately […]

8 years ago

Talk about following in your father’s footsteps Mick Schumacher, the 19-year-old son of the GOAT Michael Schumacher, has won the European Formula Three championship with a staggering 347 points and a race to spare. Yeah, he might just have a bit about him behind the wheel, just like his father. Schumacher, who finished 12th in […]

8 years ago

Fucking hell Sorry for swearing. But. Fucking hell. Three people were taken to hospital on Saturday after being attacked by a kangaroo in Queensland, Australia. Linda Smith, a 64-year-old wildlife carer, was left with a punctured lung and broken ribs after the attack, whilst her husband was left with multiple lacerations and her son, thankfully, […]

8 years ago

The next Bond film will almost certainly be Daniel Craig’s last The search rumbles on for a new James Bond, aka 007, the martini-sippin’, tuxedo-wearing, fisticuff-having secret agent with extremely questionable ethics and an entire personality derived from making other people feel like shit. Truly, the Great British hero if there ever was one. Barbara […]

8 years ago

It’s a stylistic choice, yeah? I know how to spell cemetery One of Stephen King’s most notoriously disturbing novels is coming to cinemas next year in the form of Pet Sematary, a darker than dark meditation on life, death, and whatever the fuck there might be in between. The upcoming film, directed by Kevin Kölsch and Dennis […]

8 years ago

Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems So said Homer Simpson once, yellow, three-fingered purveyor of all the good things in life: beer, doughnuts, strangulation. It appears that young people – defined specifically as 16-24 – are no longer drinking like they used to. In parks, on benches in […]

8 years ago

Homeless charities have condemned the ‘horrifying’ number of deaths At least 449 homeless people have died in the UK since October last year, as reported by The Guardian. An investigation has stated that some of the people that died were left for months before their bodies were discovered. They were found in shop doorways, hostels and camping […]

8 years ago

We regret to inform people are now cutting up Banksy artwork with stanley knives Banksy caused a minor stir in the art world earlier this week after sabotaging his own painting moments after it was sold at auction for $1.1 million. The artist devised a frame containing a shredder that destroyed the print of ‘Girl […]

8 years ago

Big, big news in the chocolate world So M&Ms have decided to flip the script and launch five new chocolate bars, set to hit shelves – and mouths, and freshly ironed, crisp white t-shirts – this December. The flavours, unfortunately, are nothing new as the Fab Five are: classic milk chocolate, peanut, crispy, mint and […]

8 years ago

It appears the Joker is back up to his old tricks with Joaquin Phoenix playing him. What’s he like? Hey! This is an open letter to all the policemen and policewomen of Gotham! Please read carefully! You know… the Joker, don’t you? That guy with the clown makeup. It’s slightly different now, as far as I’m […]

8 years ago

How long have you got, Al? It turns out there’s no easy answer to Why Does Everyone Hate the English?, but that hasn’t stopped comedian and history-buff Al Murray taking it upon himself to find out in the History Channel’s new series. Murray visits Wales, Ireland, Scotland, France and Germany to meet up with a […]

8 years ago

Please never eat this We’ve covered a lot of interesting food stories recently. And when I say interesting, what I actually mean is, you sort of look at these absolute monstrosities and think “What the fuck? Who would eat that?” or, alternatively, you’re one of those people who looks at them and thinks “Yeah. Yeah I […]

8 years ago

A real shame for all the strange, strange people out there super-protective of fictional characters Barbara Broccoli, a producer in the James Bond film series, has stated that 007 will “probably” never be played by a woman. Daniel Craig is currently set for his last outing as MI6’s finest in the upcoming film, due out […]

8 years ago

The man, funnily enough, is called Phil Jones. Clearly isn’t taking all this Mourinho drama too well at all A man named Phillip Jones climbed up onto a traffic road sign on the M1 on August 30 and singlehandedly shut the motorway down in both directions for half an hour. It has been confirmed by […]

8 years ago

Let me tell you something. For the most part, the Harry Potter films are not good There are many reasons for this. Changing directors meant there was no real continuity of tone which shifted wildly throughout the series. Only the Alfonso Cuarón helmed Prisoner of Azkaban stands up to any real scrutiny, thanks in part […]

8 years ago

Couldn’t have happened to a more fundamentally awful human being You remember Jersey Shore, don’t you? It was the original Geordie Shore, but, and bare with me here, it featured Jerseys – as in, people from New Jersey – rather than Geordies, people who like kebabs and football and quadruple vodka Red Bulls. Anyway, the […]

8 years ago

“It appears we just got Bansky-ed” Banksy has stayed true to form with his latest semi-protest after selling a painting at Sotheby’s Auction House, New York, before having it self-destruct. It might just have been mildly irritating for the winning bidder, who had just spent $1.1 million (£838,418) on a print of Banksy’s iconic ‘Girl […]

8 years ago

People change, Sony. Some of us don’t want to be SlimeBoi69 anymore It’s long been an issue with the PlayStation Network but it finally appears to be coming: gamers might soon be able to change their usernames. I know. I know. Deep breaths, X_scifininja_X. Calm down WankBot4000. Gaming site Kotaku has reported that at least three […]

8 years ago

Spider Corbs, Spider Corbs, does whatever a Spider Corbs… does After Theresa May dancing exploits on Wednesday during the Tory party conference, an event of such monumental cringe proportions that it has put the entire world off ABBA, forever, it appears that Jeremy Corbyn has got the PR bug. Fortunately for him, the Labour leader’s […]

8 years ago

Selfies… a dangerous, dangerous artform as it happens I don’t take selfies. I don’t have the face, the patience, the face, the angle/lighting/filter knowhow, the face, the confidence, the face, and my camera on my phone is broken due to me having dropped it repeatedly. Also, my face. It turns out, this is a good […]

8 years ago

Theresa May = The dancing hotdog Snapchat filter This is the political landscape now, no more ridiculous than a McFadden’s Cold War montage, as leaders of nations throw themselves into modernity, or whatever they think modernity is, by tweeting like an angry pre-teen Xbox gamer high on Monster over there, by dancing onstage at a […]

8 years ago

Mark Zuckerberg is at it again WhatsApp users – roughly 1.5 billion of us chimplike creatures – will start seeing adverts on our favourite group chat, emoji firing, ‘great banter’ providing, phone messaging service from 2019. *clears throat* IS NOTHING SACRED MARK ZUCKERBERG? IS NOTHING. SACRED!? WhatsApp was great, originally, because it was free. Even […]

8 years ago

Mount Soputan spewed ash almost 6,000 metres into the sky A volcano has erupted on the same island as the city of Palu in Indonesia, less than a week after an earthquake killed over 1300 people. Mount Soputan, in the North Sulawesi province, erupted at 8:47am local time and spewed ash 4,000m above the volcano’s […]

8 years ago

@ my boss, plz read this A company in New Zealand has committed to permanently changing to a four-day work week after trialling the system for two months. Staff at Perpetual Guardian, one of those nondescript financial firms that deal in trusts, wills, estates, etc, found themselves to be more productive, have a better life balance […]

8 years ago

Secretly, everyone believes they are funny enough to do stand-up You’ve always thought about it, haven’t you? After watching Peter Kay talk about dunking biscuits (the marine hobnob: AGAIN!), or after watching Michael McIntyre talk about whatever the fuck Michael McIntyre talks about during his stand-up shows – I don’t know, I don’t watch them, […]

8 years ago

Brought to you by Time to Change “Is everything alright?” Sometimes we say we’re fine when we’re not. Everyone has done it. But, with 1 in 4 people experiencing a mental health problem this year alone, the truth is that if a friend says they’re fine, they might not be. To really find out, and […]

8 years ago

It has been confirmed at least two cabinet ministers have received prank phone calls due to the latest Tory shitshow The Conservative party conference takes place in Birmingham this weekend and has started with all the glorious elegance of a giraffe toppling down a Hogwarts staircase. A Tory conference app – which chairman Brandon Lewis […]

8 years ago

As strong and stable as advertised Gun to your head, what do you think is the most Conservative party way to kickstart their conference in Birmingham? Do you think it is creating their app – the Conservative party conference app – and not even adding passwords to the accounts of the politicians attending? And inadvertently […]

8 years ago

For example: A flamboyance of flamingos Here’s a fun game for you. Come up with the collective noun for yourself. If you were, I don’t know, cloned in a laboratory and then suddenly there was just loads of you, what would the term be? If there was suddenly millions of Jennys. Hundreds of Clives. A few […]

8 years ago

Seven arrests were made to foil a plot involving guns and explosives Police in the Netherlands have prevented a ‘major terrorist attack’ after arrests were made on Thursday. Dutch police apprehended seven men, all aged between 21 and 34, who were planning on carrying out a terrorist attack involving guns and explosives. The men were […]

8 years ago

This is the first time a spacecraft has successfully landed on a fast-moving asteroid body The Japanese Space Agency (Jaxa) has released new photographs after landing two rovers on the surface of the asteroid, Ryugu. Hayabusa 2, known as the “mothership”, reached the asteroid in June after a three-and-a-half year journey. On Friday it descended […]

8 years ago

The Magic Gang continue to float on the arms of their fans, lost in their own dizzy singalongs Some would call it geek chic, whatever that is. The Magic Gang look and sound like they did six years ago, and they will probably look and sound like this six years from now. They wear their […]

8 years ago

No, YOU’RE having a slow news day Usually, for an article, I will sort of segue slowly into the action. You know. I don’t want to startle you. There’s always a winding introduction and then BANG – the actual crux of the piece – seemingly jumping out of nowhere like Randy Orton. In this particular […]

8 years ago

The Russian man has been accused of the Salisbury poisoning in March One of the two men accused of carrying out the Salisbury poisoning has been identified as a high-ranking intelligence officer in the Russian military by Bellingcat, an independent open-source investigation website. The man was previously believed to be Ruslan Borishov, 39. He is […]

8 years ago

This could have been a very costly error indeed We’ve all messed up in our lives. All of us, at least once, more likely several times, have had a slight blip in our mental processes and have completely – how do you say – ‘fucked it’. The truth is, none of us has ever been […]

8 years ago

You’ll struggle to sit through this without your testicles retracting. Even if you don’t have testicles Theresa May has said she trusts US President Donald Trump in characteristically awkward fashion. The prime minister was interviewed by CBS This Morning host John Dickerson, and emphatically told him that, she, erm, yeah, maybe, sort of, kinda, trusts him? She […]

8 years ago

In partnership with Coca-Cola GB Although we all know how important it is to recycle, at times a lack of information can make it confusing. But recycling doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t have to be as painful as ironing all your work shirts or washing up all your plastic tubs in one giant […]

8 years ago

John McGinn’s sumptuous volley was a rare moment of escapism, a sharp bolt of magic to cut through the heavy Steve Bruce gloom suffocating Villa Park Legend has it that you know they’re in as soon as it leaves your foot. It’s true. You do. In fact, sometimes you know even before that, when the […]

8 years ago

An auction of signed items and a meet and greet with the heavyweight champion has raised £10,000 Anthony Joshua and StubHub have raised £10,000 for the charity Key4Life. An eBay auction was set up by StubHub and all of the proceeds have been donated to the charity, which focuses on reducing re-offending and gang-related crime through effective […]

8 years ago

Did we really need a study to prove that? According to a study by the London School of Economics, watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians for as little as 60 seconds can make you a worse person by reducing your sympathy for the poor. Research from LSE found that exposure to shows that “glamorise fame, luxury, and wealth […]

8 years ago

George Weah eat your heart out We regret to inform you that former Arsenal winger and fan-irritator Gervinho is once again, at it. He is back at it. He is doing things like this: picking up the ball deep inside his own half and surging over, through, and past multiple defenders like he’s spent the last […]

8 years ago

Poet John Cooper Clarke also introduced the band with a reading of ‘I Wanna Be Yours’ Arctic Monkeys rolled back the years as they treated fans to a rare performance of the Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not anthem ‘Mardy Bum’, the words of which you can hear echoing out of most student union […]

8 years ago

Pro Evo is the king and always be I love the Pro Evolution Soccer franchise. I always will. Gun to my head, give me Pro Evolution Soccer 4/5/6 over the latest iteration of FIFA every single day of every single year. The license dodging player names – Roberto Larcos, Ruud Vom Mistelroum –  didn’t bother […]

8 years ago

“I love you all so much… except for Donald Trump” Jack Black celebrated being added onto the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Tuesday in typically exuberant fashion: by writhing around his new star in a sea of seductive poses. The School of Rock star told the crowd how grateful he was for the honour, before going […]

8 years ago

So. We meet again, ‘fashion’. I’ve been expecting you. Golden Goose, an Italian designer shoe brand based in Venice, has followed in Versace’s muddy footsteps and boldly launched an item of clothing EXCLUSIVELY for terrible, terrible, awful human beings. What they have done is… what they have done is, they have made these shoes. Please, […]

8 years ago

If you come at the king(s) you best not miss Tesco has arranged a bunch of school rucksacks into a loose circle on the playground. They’ve aggressively pointed out Aldi and Lidl from the rapidly forming crowd, the two overwhelmingly popular foreign exchange students that have come over for the term and stolen all Tesco’s […]

8 years ago