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Articles written by the more mysterious members of the JOE editorial team

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  • Roy Keane slams Man United star over mentality and says he should “get another job”

    Roy Keane slams Man United star over mentality and says he should “get another job”

    The United winger did not celebrate his goal against Leicester at the weekend following criticism from fans. Roy Keane has slammed Alejandro Garnacho for refusing to celebrate his goal in the Red Devils‘ 3-0 win over Leicester City on Sunday. The former Red Devils captain said that if the youngster can’t handle harsh words from […]

    1 year ago

  • Doctor reveals why cold weather is causing men to get ‘winter penis’

    Doctor reveals why cold weather is causing men to get ‘winter penis’

    He warned of concerns around erectile dysfunction A doctor has revealed why cold weather causes men’s penises to shrink dramatically in the frosty temperatures. It’s a phenomenon as old as humans themselves, with most men experiencing at some point the extreme shrinkage of their chap downstairs In concurrence with Men’s Health Awareness Month, Dr Donald […]

    1 year ago

  • Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul: Follow the action in our blog

    Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul: Follow the action in our blog

    It’s Iron Mike vs The Problem Child Hello and welcome to our live blog for one of the most eagerly-anticipated – and controversial – boxing fights of the year: Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul. The pair are facing off at the AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas, on Friday night, with the fight being broadcast live […]

    1 year ago

  • Expert says parents should ask babies for permission before changing their nappies

    Expert says parents should ask babies for permission before changing their nappies

    Sexuality expert Deanne Carson left viewers baffled A sexuality expert has claimed that parents should be made to ask babies to give them permission to change their nappies before they do so. Deanne Carson left viewers on ABC baffled during an interview in 2018 after the “sexuality educator, speaker and author”, as per her biography […]

    1 year ago

  • Roy Keane’s future son-in-law could play for England against Ireland this weekend

    Roy Keane’s future son-in-law could play for England against Ireland this weekend

    Harwood-Bellis has been called up to the England squad for the first time. Roy Keane could be watching his future son-in-law face off against the Republic of Ireland at Wembley this Sunday. Keane’s daughter, Leah, is engaged to Southampton defender Taylor Harwood-Bellis, who has been named in England’s UEFA Nations League squad for this week’s […]

    1 year ago

  • Exact date UK to be hit by ‘snow bomb’ with up to 18 inches set to fall

    Exact date UK to be hit by ‘snow bomb’ with up to 18 inches set to fall

    Temperatures have dropped in recent days Forecasters predict that parts of the UK could see as much as 18 inches of snow later this month. Weather projections suggest that the snowfall will arrive around Saturday, November 23, with Scotland likely to experience the heaviest accumulations. Other parts of the UK, such as Greater Manchester, are […]

    1 year ago

  • You can now buy Cathedral City hash brown cheese toasties

    You can now buy Cathedral City hash brown cheese toasties

    These look great! Iceland have started selling Cathedral City Mini Hashbrown Cheese and Ham Toasties. The news comes after the supermarket revealed one of its festive snacks would return as part of its Cathedral City range. The Cathedral City Pigs in Blankets Toastie, which has been a firm favourite among Iceland customers in previous years […]

    1 year ago

  • Scientists find ‘giant’ dinosaur spider fossil in Australia

    Scientists find ‘giant’ dinosaur spider fossil in Australia

    It is the second-largest spider fossil ever found worldwide Australia is the land of deadly things. The continent is home to some of the deadliest creatures on Earth. But if the you thought it’s spiders were the things of horror movies, wait until you see the prehistoric version. Scientists have found a fossilised giant trapdoor […]

    1 year ago

  • Antiques Roadshow expert refuses to value item because of disturbing history

    Antiques Roadshow expert refuses to value item because of disturbing history

    He said it was ‘one of the most difficult things’ he’s had to speak about on the show Antiques Roadshow is a staple of British TV, but one episode left viewers shocked after expert Ronnie Archer-Morgan refused to value an item due to its disturbing history. The guest who brought the object along had no […]

    1 year ago

  • Greggs festive bake is back in stores today

    Greggs festive bake is back in stores today

    This has got us in the Christmas spirit already! Greggs has revealed their festive bake is set to return to stores today. The bakery giant teamed up with culinary icon Nigella Lawson as they announced the return of its Christmas menu in their first ever Christmas advert. The playful ad sees Lawson appearing to cook […]

    1 year ago

  • QUIZ: Name these 50 Premier League players from the 2010s – #1

    QUIZ: Name these 50 Premier League players from the 2010s – #1

    Back again… sort of The idea’s simple enough. We give you the faces of 50 footballers who all played in the Premier League at some point in the 2010s, you tell us who they are from the options provided below each one. Some are very easy, some aren’t. The FootballJOE Quiz enthusiasts amongst you will […]

    1 year ago

  • 700-year-old sword discovered stuck in a rock

    700-year-old sword discovered stuck in a rock

    A 700-year-old sword has been dubbed the ‘real-life Excalibur’ after it was discovered stuck in a rock in a Bosnian river. The legend of King Arthur claims that he was the only one who was able to pull a sword from stone, but this recently uncovered blade seems to have brought the legend to life. […]

    1 year ago

  • Donald Trump suggested Purge-style day to end crime across the US

    Donald Trump suggested Purge-style day to end crime across the US

    ‘One rough hour – and I mean real rough…’ Donald Trump has seemingly won the US election in what is being dubbed as the biggest comeback in political history. At the time of writing, Trump needs just four more seats to claim the White House, while Harris needs 51. As a new dawn descends over […]

    1 year ago

  • QUIZ: Is this a Pokemon or a Digimon?

    QUIZ: Is this a Pokemon or a Digimon?

    The eternal question Which is the best? Marvel or DC? Coke or Pepsi? Pokemon or Digimon? Of course, the answer is Pokemon. Pokemon was always better. Digimon was the budget, Aldi-Pokemon, that was based on a lame virtual pets – as opposed to one of the most beloved Game Boy games of all time. It […]

    1 year ago

  • I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here full line up has been revealed for 2024

    I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here full line up has been revealed for 2024

    This is quite the cast! The full list of celebrities joining I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! has been announced. Last month, rumours broke that Coleen Rooney had reportedly signed a record deal to appear on this year’s I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! While Tommy Fury who was rumoured to […]

    1 year ago

  • People have only just found out what the H on lampposts means

    People have only just found out what the H on lampposts means

    It doesn’t mean higher or lower. The dear people of the internet are only just realising that the H on some lampposts carry a meaning and it’s not just a tombstone for H from Steps … or a landing area for helicopters. Thanks to the holy grail of TikTok, a video explaining what the bright […]

    1 year ago

  • The Premier League: Follow all the action in our live blog

    The Premier League: Follow all the action in our live blog

    Ruud van Nistelrooy takes charge of his first Premier League game Manchester United’s interim manager Ruud van Nistelrooy impressed midweek when he led his team to a 5-2 victory over Leicester in the Carabao Cup but Sunday’s game will be a big test for the former striker. Ruben Amorim is not expected to take charge […]

    1 year ago

  • The Premier League: Follow all the action in our live blog

    The Premier League: Follow all the action in our live blog

    Arsenal travel to the northeast Live updates of team news are below: Eddie Howe’s side will host Mikel Arteta’s Arsenal in the 12.30pm kick off on Saturday. Newcastle are still without several key players. Kieran Trippier is not expected back for another three weeks while long-term absentees, Jamaal Lascelles and Sven Botman are not due […]

    1 year ago

  • Death toll rises to 158 as Spain endures worst flooding disaster in decades

    Death toll rises to 158 as Spain endures worst flooding disaster in decades

    It’s one of the country’s worst ever natural disasters At least 158 people are known to have died in catastrophic floods in Spain, after more than a year’s worth of rain fell in just eight hours in some areas. The torrential downpours hit the south-eastern region of the country, with the town of Chiva near […]

    1 year ago

  • Harry Potter actress had secret 9-year relationship with co-star

    Harry Potter actress had secret 9-year relationship with co-star

    She gave it away in 2015, but no one seemed to notice The actress that played Luna Lovegood has revealed she had a secret nine-year romance with a Harry Potter co-star. Evanna Lynch, who starred as the ethereal Hogwarts witch in the film adaptations of JK Rowling’s novels, dated Robbie Jarvis, who played a young […]

    1 year ago

  • Doctor reveals potential unwanted side effects of ‘No Nut November’

    Doctor reveals potential unwanted side effects of ‘No Nut November’

    Would you try ‘No Nut November’? Participants of ‘No Nut November’ may want to think twice after an NHS doctor on TikTok revealed some of the potential side effects. Unfamiliar with ‘No Nut November’? Well… ‘No Nut November’ has become trendy in recent years, arguably thanks to the rising movement of ‘no fap’ or ‘semen […]

    1 year ago

  • Weather maps turn red as UK braces to be hit by mini November ‘heat bomb’

    Weather maps turn red as UK braces to be hit by mini November ‘heat bomb’

    Don’t whack the heating on yet! Brits could be set to experience an unseasonal “heat bomb” in November, as spring-like temperatures are brought to the nation. According to some forecasters, the UK can expect temperatures well above the average for this time of year, with the mercury potentially reaching 17C in some areas. Weather maps […]

    1 year ago

  • Millionaire builds 99 homes to reduce homelessness in his town

    Millionaire builds 99 homes to reduce homelessness in his town

    Canadian millionaire tackles homelessness Marcel LeBrun, a millionaire based in eastern Canada, has gone viral for his heroic effort of building 99 “tiny homes” to help the fight against homelessness. It’s believed the multi-millionaire sold his company for an eight figure sum, and decided to put $4 million of that money to good use. The town of Fredericton […]

    1 year ago

  • Conor McGregor ‘retires’ from fighting

    Conor McGregor ‘retires’ from fighting

    The legend addressed it on X Conor McGregor has spoken about ‘retiring’ from fighting after responding to a tweet that suggests he should hang up his gloves. A fan tweeted him stating: “No reason to come back to UFC or fighting in general, you have beautiful family, worth half a billion, businesses, as being a […]

    1 year ago

  • The Premier League: Follow all the action in our live blog

    The Premier League: Follow all the action in our live blog

    City host Southampton Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City host struggling Southampton, who are still looking for their first win of the season. It won’t be an easy task for City, last weekend they narrowly scraped a win against bottom of the table Wolves after a controversial late winner. The Saints will take some encouragement from Wolves […]

    1 year ago

  • Luton Town forward Elijah Adebayo victim of vile racist abuse

    Luton Town forward Elijah Adebayo victim of vile racist abuse

    It has to stop. Luton Town forward Elijah Adebayo has been subject to vile racist abuse on Wednesday evening, which is abhorrently the second time, after disgusting messages were sent twelve months ago. At 8:28PM BST on Wednesday night, a UK based Instagram account sent Adebayo a racist comment. Following Luton Town’s match versus Sunderland […]

    1 year ago

  • Disposable vapes to be banned next year, government says

    Disposable vapes to be banned next year, government says

    It’s hoped this will reduce the number of young people vaping The government has confirmed they will ban disposable vapes from June next year, after it was proposed by the Conservative government back in January. Although the plans are just for England so far, it is expected that similar bans will come into force by […]

    1 year ago

  • Stephen King reveals one horror film he was too scared to sit through

    Stephen King reveals one horror film he was too scared to sit through

    Even the King of horror has his limits! The man behind some of the most iconic horror movies, Stephen King, has revealed the one movie that he couldn’t finish. You’d think the man who dreamed up It and The Shinning couldn’t be easily rattled, but it seems one movie, in particular, made him rather uncomfortable. […]

    1 year ago

  • Mum accidentally names twins after TV show and now wants to change their names

    Mum accidentally names twins after TV show and now wants to change their names

    Are these names really that bad? One mum has sparked a debate online after admitting she’s worried everyone will think she has named her babies after a TV show. The embarrassed mum took to the parenting forum NetMums where she told fellow users of the site that she accidentally named her children after a TV […]

    1 year ago

  • The Premier League: Follow all the action in our live blog

    The Premier League: Follow all the action in our live blog

    Chelsea travel to Anfield to face top of the table Liverpool Fourth placed Chelsea travel to top of the table Liverpool on Sunday. In a boost to Enzo Maresca’s side, Reece James is edging closer to a return to action though this clash may come too soon for the England defender. They have suffered just […]

    1 year ago

  • The Premier League: Follow all the action in our live blog

    The Premier League: Follow all the action in our live blog

    It could be a make or break tie for Erik ten Hag There are seven Premier League games on Saturday, and you can follow them live in our blog above. Just click on the key point you want to read about or keep scrolling for more updates. The action gets underway at 12:30 pm when 12.30 when […]

    1 year ago

  • Liam Payne, former One Direction star, dies aged 31

    Liam Payne, former One Direction star, dies aged 31

    Former One Direction member Liam Payne has died in Buenos Aires at the age of 31, Argentinian media has reported. It has been reported by TMZ that he fell from a third story hotel room in Buenos Aires. Emergency services are said to be in attendance with a red tent erected at the scene. The musician was best known […]

    1 year ago

  • Sydney Sweeney looks completely unrecognisable in new role as ‘the female Rocky’

    Sydney Sweeney looks completely unrecognisable in new role as ‘the female Rocky’

    “Is this real?” Sydney Sweeney looks completely unrecognisable in new pictures shared from the set of her upcoming film. The Euphoria actress is set to portray boxer Christy Martin, dubbed the ‘female Rocky’, in the yet-to-be-titled movie. Sweeney revealed her background in combat sports helped her in the role. Speaking to Deadline, she said: “I […]

    1 year ago

  • Documentary about woman who cut off husband’s penis airing on ITV tonight

    Documentary about woman who cut off husband’s penis airing on ITV tonight

    The documentary about the shocking case airs tonight A documentary about a woman who cut off her husband’s penis is airing on ITV tonight. In 1993, John Bobbitt woke up to find that his penis had been cut off. It was a case which gripped America and sent the media into a frenzy as one […]

    1 year ago

  • American Pickers star Frank Fritz’s cause of death confirmed

    American Pickers star Frank Fritz’s cause of death confirmed

    The American Pickers star died last month. The news of his death was announced by his co-star Mike Wolfe who wrote on Instagram: “It’s with a broken heart that I share with all of you that Frank passed away last night. “I’ve know Frank for more then half my life and what you’ve seen on […]

    1 year ago

  • One of the scariest British films ever made is now streaming for free

    One of the scariest British films ever made is now streaming for free

    It has a perfect Rotten Tomatoes score A ‘soul-chilling’ movie which is widely considered to be one of the scariest British films ever is now available to stream at home for free. Fear can be induced in many different ways, from psychological thrillers to gory horrors, humans are pretty easily scared. However, real fear, the […]

    1 year ago

  • Scrubs creator says reboot of the show is moving forward

    Scrubs creator says reboot of the show is moving forward

    ‘We all feel like we do have stories to tell’ Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence revealed earlier in the year that the sitcom’s stars could reunite within the next “six months to a year” because they have “stories to tell.” After more than 14 years away from our screens, the much-loved US show is making a […]

    1 year ago

  • Once-in-a-lifetime comet set to light up UK skies tonight

    Once-in-a-lifetime comet set to light up UK skies tonight

    An incredibly rare phenomenon A once-in-a-lifetime event is about to happen this weekend, providing humans on earth today with a spatial time capsule last seen by our Neanderthal ancestors 80,000 years ago. The event in question concerns the comet known as C/2023 A3 Tsuchinshan–ATLAS, or A3 for short, and its encounters with Earth are so […]

    1 year ago

  • George Baldock’s cause of death confirmed by family

    George Baldock’s cause of death confirmed by family

    They issued a heartbreaking statement. George Baldock’s family have issued a statement confirming the post-mortem result that the player tragically drowned. A Greek international, his Greece teammates won at England 2-1 in his honour last night, dedicating the victory to George. Greece forward Vangelis Pavlidis, who scored both goals for the visitors, told ITV after […]

    1 year ago

  • Brighton player Julio Enciso says he ‘almost died’ on plane after fainting

    Brighton player Julio Enciso says he ‘almost died’ on plane after fainting

    He fainted on a plane before a passenger came to his rescue. Brighton’s Julio Enciso has confirmed he fainted on a plane whilst jetting to his international football duties and claims he “almost died.” The Paraguayan international was eventually assisted by a passenger after feeling unwell during the flight. As per Sport Witness, the midfielder […]

    1 year ago

  • Michael Jackson’s ex says he was a ‘virgin until he was 35’

    Michael Jackson’s ex says he was a ‘virgin until he was 35’

    Maybe not such a smooth criminal You would think, being the king of pop and all that, that Michael Jackson probably wouldn’t have struggled too much when it came to charming the ladies. With hits like ‘Smooth Criminal’, ‘Love Never Felt So Good’ and ‘Bad’ the sex icon was in fact, ironically, not that promiscuous. […]

    1 year ago

  • Premier League star reportedly ‘could be banned for life’ following investigation

    Premier League star reportedly ‘could be banned for life’ following investigation

    UPDATE: Paqueta has since released his own statement. Earlier this month, it was reported that Lucas Paqueta of West Ham was being investigated in an ongoing alleged betting case. The Hammers star allegedly handed his phone into the FA 12 months ago, after an investigation began regarding suspicious betting patterns. The FA then allegedly kept […]

    1 year ago

  • Eminem voted as the greatest rapper of all time

    Eminem voted as the greatest rapper of all time

    A new poll has voted Eminem as the best of all time Eminem has been named the greatest rapper of all time after in a new poll. Rap fans have long argued about who does it best, but Eminem has come out on top after over 600,000 people cast their votes. The Slim Shady rapper […]

    1 year ago